Couples' Stories

The Halls: Understanding Your Spouse's Needs

By Jessica Hall on 01 August 2018

IMG_9245This month’s box is about understanding your spouse’s needs. If we’re being totally transparent here, this (aside from intimacy) is probably a favorite topic when it comes to relationships. We all want our needs to be met and we want to be able to adequately meet our spouse’s. Naturally, Cameron and I couldn’t wait to get our hands on this box!

We started with the “Memory Lane” piece and it turned out to be our favorite. It was so fun getting to reminisce about how our love story unfolded and where it all began. In fact, we loved it so much that we took a trip up to Knoxville and visited the hallway where we met and talked about how crazy it is that we fell in love in a biology class - ironically not chemistry, although there was plenty of that going on, know what I’m sayin’?

We also loved talking about our future and how we see our needs changing over time. Cameron and I want to wait a couple of years before having kids, but we enjoyed talking about how our weekends will be different and how even though we will have kids, we still want to maintain our  adventurous spirits and incorporate them into our kids’ lives one day! We really saw the importance of appreciating how we came to be, as well as anticipating what we hope to be in the future.

Next, we learned about five ways to meet your spouse’s needs. It was really encouraging to read through this booklet and see the things we do well, but it was also challenging to read about the things we need to work on. The five ways discussed are:

  • Give them the benefit of the doubt;
  • Do a little more than expected;
  • Fall in love with them daily;
  • Embrace your differences; and
  • Be their biggest fan.

These were fun to work through as we talked about what we currently do well and what we need to improve on.

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We decided to do the plant activity next and we had so much fun! One of Cameron’s guilty pleasures is gardening so this was right up his alley. We planted beets and lettuce - and we can’t wait to see how much it grows! We loved that this included all the materials necessary to be able to plant the items and watch them grow. Another super-fun activity was the head scratchers! We weren’t sure how they’d feel by the looks of them, but Cameron has now decided he wants this done to him every night before bed.

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One of our favorite pieces in this box was the “I Love You Because...” chalkboard. We placed this by our coffee pot in the kitchen, and a lot of mornings before Cameron leaves for work he will leave me a sweet compliment or just an encouraging word for the day. This morning he wrote, “I love you because of the way you make me a better man.” Wow! All the feels! Just a simple sentence on a chalkboard had the power to make my week. To know he got up and was thinking about me enough to make that extra effort and affirm me before I start my day means everything.

We loved the “I See Your Need” and “I Need You” cards! Cameron often tells me that he is so satisfied when he feels like he’s needed. I’m a very independent person and I don’t ever want to be an inconvenience to someone or make someone feel like they have to do something. I’m also a control freak and prideful about certain things so I would rather do something myself than have someone else do it, but that’s another issue for another box. Am I right or am I right? Because of this, I frequently forget to let Cameron know that I do depend on him and need him (way more than he realizes). After leaving him an “I Need You” card to find, Cameron has told me he’s never felt more loved, appreciated or treasured.

The last activity we did in the box was the “What if We’re Opposites?” cards. We loved these and had some good laughs talking about my organized, control-freak self in comparison to Cameron’s messy, carefree self. We talked about how hard this was the first month of our marriage as we adjusted to living together and how far we’ve come! We argued about toothpaste tubes, toilet seats and the dish to dishwasher process. I only wish we‘d had these “What If We’re Opposites?” cards then!

The newlywed box is the thing we never knew our marriage needed. It allows us to explore each other, new interests, and our love on the deepest level. 

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Topics: Marriage, Newlyweds, Subscription Box

Author: Jessica Hall

Marriage is Wonderful 

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