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5 Ways The Honeymoon Changed Our Reality

By Caroline Henry on Mar 26, 2019 12:57:50 PM

Alright, here’s the thing. My husband and I had been dating for over four years before we got married. There were a lot of conversations, a lot of arguments, a lot of learning, and a lot of love in those four years! When we got married, I thought everything was going to be complete and total bliss, especially the honeymoon!

BUT, as I found out, we still had a lot to learn about each other. Apparently, I’m a very “aggressive sleeper” (his words, not mine), and I found out that he cannot be in one place for more than a couple hours without getting a bit stir crazy. He figured out some of the things he says that push my buttons, and I found out that he gets REALLY stressed out about parking in a big city… Oh, and we cannot take a shower together; it’s just not going to happen.

Needless to say, it was an - interesting - experience for the two of us. To be totally transparent, there were a few moments that we kind of just looked at each other, in total silence, wondering what exactly we were doing.

Luckily, there were 5 areas where we did know what we were doing, only because we had open communication within them. Even though some of them were hard or awkward to talk about, bringing each of them out in the open was the savior to our honeymoon! Not only that, but it helped us prepare for what our life together would look like once we got back home.

Those five things were…

  1. Budget. Now, I understand that some people don’t have a budget for the honeymoon, and that’s ok! But as newlyweds who are saving up for a house soon, we decided beforehand what our price range would be for everything we were doing on the honeymoon, and kept up with it. However, it is your honeymoon, after all! If you can, it’s a great time to splurge on some things, like a spa day or a cute dress you see in a boutique shop. Just make sure to talk about it beforehand!

  2. Sex & Intimacy. This one was a little weird to talk about, but it was oh so worth it. We both had very different expectations for what intimacy on the honeymoon would look like, and we didn’t figure that out until it was a little too late. BUT, after we did communicate about our expectations, what intimacy looks like for each of us and our likes and dislikes, we had a lot more fun (if you know what I mean)!

  3. Exploring vs. Staying at Home. Like I said earlier, my husband tends to get a little stir crazy after a couple hours at home. For me, as a homebody, it was a difficult adjustment to want to go exploring a few times a day, mostly because I just wanted to snuggle up by the fireplace with my new hubby. But finding a place to meet in the middle is key!

  4. Planning vs. Being Spontaneous. This one took until the ride home for us to figure out. While I like to have every day mapped out with activities and where to go to lunch, my husband was not so fond of that. However, just like the previous topic, we had to find a middle ground. We decided that next time, we’d have a list of activities and restaurants, and when we want something to do or place eat, we’ll just pull from the list instead of scheduling it out.

  5. What we’d do when we got back home. The honeymoon is a wonderful week (or two if you’re lucky!), but it does have to end eventually. For us, that meant walking into an apartment stuffed to the brim with new gifts, all of my stuff in boxes, and all the leftover wedding decor strewn about. Having a plan of action for when we got home helped save us from a lot of stress and arguments about expectations and to-dos!

Even though these topics were SO important for the honeymoon, they will continue to be vital to our marriage, too. Each of these things brought attention to areas where we differ dramatically, and that’s ok! It just takes intentional communication (through the weirdness and discomfort) and openness with your spouse. Trust me, communication really is key to a happy honeymoon and beyond!

Author: Caroline Henry

Marriage is Wonderful 

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